Wanna See Nine Versions of the Same Sunset?

 

I don’t know if they are good pictures, but I do know that I enjoy them – especially that last one. I think I know what I’ll post next…If I ever get to that.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever completely lost your mind and ridiculously developed {let’s call it} a  crush on someone *entirely* out of your league and sorta stayed that way for…let’s say six years? Honestly its both embarrassing and hard to keep track of the time at this point. Anyways, I have and it sucks. To a point… I’ll be honest the clarity it provides is nice. You don’t have to wonder “Do they like me back?” cause you know the answer, and it is a resounding “LMAO”. So you get to spend however long you want just kinda pining after them passively before rolling your eyes and going back to work on whatever ridiculous project you like to imagine would in some convoluted way impress them and make them want to be your best friend and you’ll binge watch all of Lotr and Buffy and Community and go on runs and walks and maybe some jogs and have a picnic… *shakes head* Uh…yeah… So maybe I never stopped being 12?

I don’t always feel certain in my choices, I am very insecure in enjoying the things that I enjoy so I look for clarity and absolute certitude in things that should be abstract and opinionated. I mean…look through my photo captions, I clearly like the photos and yet I am clearly pretending that I think they are just “meh”. So that’s why I kinda like having this ridiculously long-lived crush, it is nice to have one thing that I can feel positively certain about – this person is *Fucking Amazing* and I wish we could cuddle until the end of time. Maybe this is unhealthy or maybe its just idiosyncratic… or… Eccentric! I will probably get over it eventually, its all in my head so I am in an uncommonly strong position to put an end to it unilaterally. Or is that not how people work?

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